It's not what you say...

Good morning Boys and Girls!

surrogate reporting here with interesting if pointless

So the entry I (we) posted the day before yesterday (as
Jesus by the way. - Feel free to read it below if you
haven't yet.) was about the Pope and the possibility
that replacing John Paul II might have to occur fairly
soon for either of a couple of reasons.

Well, in the post, obviously I mentioned the Roman
Catholic Church, cardinals, priests and a few other
words that really seemed to get Google to take note!

The post itself was okay, I hope, but what's really
important I see now, is that as far as getting hits on
your blog, what really gets the old search engines
tingling are properly chosen key words! I thought it
was a mistake when I started getting dozens of hits
with a few minute period and far more hits in a three
hour period than I have ever received in a whole day

So. Perhaps the key to blogging isn't actually what we
are trying to say, but in fact and at last, which
words we choose to use to say whatever trite crap we
want to foist off as brilliant writing on an
unsuspecting blog reading public!

Of course I have no idea whether the people who came
to my blog the last day or so actually read it, cared
about it one way or the other, or simply stumbled
across it on their way to finding out about Pope
Style noodles dishes, Priest software, or John, Paul
George and Ringo ashtrays on Ebay (oooh! Ebay! that'll
get some hits!)

I know this had to have something to do with it
because last night when I googled the following
combination of words after seeing my blog getting hit
like Butch and Sundance in Bolivia after one too many
nights in the same town: Pope, Jesus and Catholic, I
came up third on the list.

So, with thanks to Kevin Nealand, (porn) I've been
thinking of other key words that might help generate
hits (sex) on my blog. (lust) If you can help me
(corvette) think of any words (blond, brunette,
redhead, young, old, consensual, whip, whipped cream,
ooooh... chocolate!) that might help me promote my
blog just by including them in the text? (free money)
Won't you let me know?

Be good to everybody!



The problem with generating traffic with such keywords is the kind of visitors you get. Mmmm... what's better, no visitors, or asylum cases?

My experience with tBlog has shown me that most of the *high traffic* blogs don't actually give much to be envied: the *quality* of the commenting seems to originate from an average 5 year old kid, and pretty much match the bulk of the tBlurt zone. They range from "hi , how r u" to "i'm bored again", with the occasional deep and meaningful "wow, that's awesome" statement.

Comments longer than one line and which make it to the end of a full sentence make your jaw drop and ponder "gee... what's this guy smoking?".

I guess it's mostly a matter of what we are looking for when blogging.

If this blog was about promoting some commercial venture (cell phones that talk to each other, dick stretching pills that would make an elephant go wow, etc), then of course, the higher the traffic, the better - regardless of whether the reader comments at all, so long as (s)he clicks on the paypal button and orders the goods.

But since this blog is nothing of the sort, I guess search keywords are of little importance. Most of our traffic comes from the members spending lots of time researching and coming up with thought provoking articles, combined with hours every day cruising other ppl's blogs, getting involved in on going discussions whenever we see them, and thus inticing those bloggers and readers to come check what WE have to say.
2/13/2005 02:20:00 am  
2/13/2005 09:39:00 am  
really, i don't have a problem with you cookie cutting my banners. would you like anything else? i'm here for you.
2/13/2005 09:57:00 am  
Damn you WhyNot! Damn, Damn! (and what were those suggestions? Dick Stretching Pills and Self Dialing Cell Phones?)

I do hope you realize that I was trying to make exactly the same point you just made so much more eloquently.

Personally? Don't care one iota how many times my blog is "hit."
On the other hand, I'd love to think that every now and again I come up with something worth
reading by a bunch of people. Either way, the hits generated by the means I tried to spoof above, are obviously bogus. (lubricant)

But, you sanctimonious; Chopper riding; American-Woman-seducing, Socialist, Atheist, with a full mane of thick friggen hair at 50 years old (like that's fair in the least)-thank you for clearing things up!

Sarah, please write a really good piece now so we can get back to serious bloggin'!

Pay pal? Hmmm.
2/13/2005 10:02:00 am  
All's fair in love and war, Freddie.

I make the banners and will counterattack any and every lie I see. Bush = War!
2/13/2005 10:23:00 am  
I apologize for my mangy husband, Surrogate. He loves satire and no doubt missed yours. We both love your writing and that, my friend, is why you are a part of this group.
2/13/2005 10:33:00 am  
Ah, my groveling (sex) apologies, Surrogate, I left my (penis stretching) sense of (vagina) humor under the (soccer mums) pillow when I (blowjob) got up (lonely horny wifes) this (anal sex) morning. Damn, (bestiality) Damn, (camel fucking) Damn!!!
2/13/2005 10:36:00 am  
To funky fresh freddie:

Ah, I was wondering when the village jester would show up. Welcome. Since you offer making banners for us, make one saying BUSH = HITLER. Thanks in advance. Oh, if you don't mind, put lots of BlogClicker credit points on it.
2/13/2005 10:40:00 am  
Hah! Dianne, I wasn't too worried. Just messin' with your pretty boy hubby, whom I love. By the way, Leave him now! Come Home. We have a welcoming party awaiting your return.

But, who is Freddy and of what banner do you speak?

Bush=War? Let me sit dwown to absorb this difficult concept.
2/13/2005 10:53:00 am  
“By the way, Leave him now!”.

She can't, I have her chained to her desk.
2/13/2005 11:16:00 am  
I'm probably on the US no fly list. LOL I was warned by the madcao at some point that I was dangerously close to being seditious. She's probably turned me in by now.

As for the banners:

Within BlogClicker and BlogExplosion you can make banners that link to your site. I happened to see one that said..Bush = Hero.
I decided to make one refuting this statement that pointed to this site..Bush = War.

If you have the time set up an account with these link exchanges and I will send you the banners so you to can use them to point to this site. I will also make you some for your personal blog if you would like me to.
2/13/2005 11:17:00 am  
What are you guys talking about?

A bunch of fuckin nerds over here. Isn't Bush the guy who won the White House? Twice? Go find something worth whining about.

I can hardly wait to see which idea you bite from me next. :)
2/13/2005 12:32:00 pm  
It looks like you're the one whining, Freddie. :)
2/13/2005 12:50:00 pm  
“I can hardly wait to see which idea you bite from me next.”.

Oh dang.... oh dear oh dear fucky fresh freddie.... do I take it you're not going to create and publish a BUSH = HITLER banner?

Awww.... I'm so sad about this... booohoooo!!! You realize you've ruined my Sunday now? Shame on you, but happy whining all the same - no worries though, Dianne churns them banners out like pop-corn :-)
2/13/2005 12:57:00 pm  
So... that's Freddy? What a charmer.

Let's assume for the minute that Bush DID win the Whitehouse, TWICE! That makes him a hero...How?

Th presidents who have become heros didn't do it by virtue of being elected - which sounds like Freedy's logic - but rather by doing heroic things with the office they were elected to serve.

Running up record deficits, Lying the country into war, using fear as a pet political weapon, ignoring your own intellegence officers, refusing to talk about your own cowardice while you were "serving" in the Texas Air National guard, refusing to talk about your own (hopefully past) drug problems, bragging that you rarely read, Planning to raid Social Security to enrich your buddys.... how many more do I need?

If he's going to become a hero, (which MAY be possible if he quits blaming God and Jesus for his mny screwed up decisions and somehow decided to come clean with America and the rest of the world, and resigned for the good of the planet. I'd sure consider that a heroic act - his first.

But maybe it would lead to others.

2/13/2005 01:52:00 pm  
Bush is trying hard, like some royal monarch of old, to convince his subjects that he is inspired by God and therefore only accountable to him. There's no need to grovel before the people.
2/13/2005 02:51:00 pm  
Right. And you devote hours and hours to bitching and moaning about him on a blog, while he's busy being Predisent of the United States. Doesn't that get old?
2/14/2005 07:28:00 am  
“... while he's busy being Predisent ...”.

What's suprising about it? That's exactly why we speak out. If he weren't the king of the US, he'd be of no importance and not worth talking about. But since he is, he deserves the attention and scrutiny of all Americans (and foreigners too since the US have such an influence in their imperialist policies over the rest of the planet).

What's so hard to understand about it?
2/14/2005 07:59:00 am  
“Bush=War? Let me sit dwown to absorb this difficult concept”.

LOL, yes I know it's quite a challenge ;-)
2/14/2005 06:57:00 pm  



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