2005/01/22

Dobson is worth watching.

James Dobson has been on my personal radar screen for some years now.

It was in the months leading up to my divorce that I discovered my beloved ex-wife had taken to listening to his early morning radio address on her way to work as a means for finding some solace and comfort. At the time, I really don't think either of us thought that we were really going to end up splits-ville.

She'd had some really awful things occur in her life, one on top of the other and had gone searching through her religious upbringing and heritage just trying to find some peace. During those months she'd told me that she thought she'd been "saved" at some religious concert she'd attended, but had been afraid to tell me thinking I'd laugh at her. Wonder if I would have? She was hurting so badly.

Anyway, Sometimes she'd come home and it seemed that we could talk about his (Dobson's little Focus thingy) innocuous little point of the day a bit and that once in a while it lead to real conversation. I didn't care about it much, but if it made her happy and got her talking, it was fine with me. It got so I'd try to listen to the rebroadcast in the afternoon just so I'd be ready when she came home.

Usually, the topics were pablum really - Brothers and sisters getting along, tolerating family gatherings....that sort of thing. Then one morning, he announced that marriages between born again Christians, and "others" were in fact - not marriages at all.

We discussed it a bit when she got home that day, but the absurdity left me speechless. I couldn't form words to argue the point.


A year or two earlier my ex had begun attending had a little Roman Catholic Church in the next Town with a real evangelical bent to it, at least among about 25% of the membership. (a little "the cardinal meets Johnny Appleseed") She sang in the choir and attended a weekly bible study. I didn't attend regularly, but would go to hear her sing once in a while. This bunch was a little touchy feely for my boring Methodist upbringing, but she liked it, so it was fine with me. Most of the folks I met I truly liked.

So, as it happens, she had a Bible study that night, She said she'd discuss this Dobson thing there and let me know what folks thought. To my surprise, They all seemed to agree with Good James.

Our marriage (and therefore, I assume, our two kids) did not really exist.

I'd wasted 23 years on something that hadn't happened!

Thanks for clearing things up Mr. Dobson!

So, Really, it's "focus" on exactly YOUR idea of what a family OUGHT to be! Fuck what families actually ARE! Right? Got it.

It certainly wasn't the cause of our divorce and I'm not suggesting it was.

What is was, to me, was a booby trap, -an additional hidden obstical placed there by someone who, instead, I'd have assumed, would have offered a good map, a bright little flashlight just in case - and good wishes - in a desire to see us travel on steadily, unimpeeded. OOps! My bad!

Now, of course, the idea here was to coerce the unsaved member of the wedding party to get with the program post haste, thus saving.. blah ..blah ..blah

Doesn't seem sincere to me.


Since then I've heard this man say at least fifty things that are meant to do nothing but divide people... and I've come to dispise him. We don't need imp-ish guides in life.


27 Comments:

I agree that Dobson does nothing more than try to make the people who belong in "his" flock (notice I say his and not God's) feel morally superior than the people who -gasp- don't believe as he does or even in the same deity. I enjoy reading your incitful blogs. looking forwarward to the next instalation of the Jesus interviews. 

Posted by Catonine
1/23/2005 12:54:00 am  
Surrogate your observations were very astute. Of course, it only takes commonsense. But, somehow for many this valuable commodity loses it's value in the face of men speaking as God. I know. I was once a part of the fundamentalist crowd. My speaking against them is not from any problems I had. I just grew up and realized so much of what they were teaching wasn't correct. As I was reading your story all the bells and whistles were going off. I probably know exactly what they told your wife.
I'm sorry that they added to the struggle you and your wife were suffering. It shouldn't be this way.

I'll share a personal experience of mine dealing with marriage and the church. I was new in this particular church also having problems and looking for something. I enjoyed the socializing, the teaching and the singing. It was nice to hear what the rules were. LOL I have always been an unruly character and thought I needed to settle down.
I was living with a guy at the time (not married). One Sunday the minister preached about people such as myself living out of wedlock you know and it scared the hell out of me. Remember, I was new and vulnerable. I went to the minister after the service to talk to him about my situation and when he got through with me I knew not only could I not live with this man but our sexual relationship had to stop also. I went straight home and gave my new roomate his Sunday blessing. LOL Poor man. I won't take you any further into this drama except to say, we married and ten years later divorced.

Religious dogma is good for nothing but the dogs. 

Posted by Dianne
1/23/2005 01:52:00 am  
Isn't that what all religions do, sadly? Whole cultures set up to make differences so ingrained that differences are almost disgusting. Stringent attempts to keep populations pure by men so arrogant as to assume to know the mind of God. I can't even figure out what the guy next to me is thinking, much less ...  

Posted by Mechelle
1/23/2005 02:21:00 am  
"Religious dogma is good for nothing but the dogs".

Is it why it's called DOGma? Just curious. 

Posted by whynot
1/23/2005 04:48:00 am  
"Stringent attempts to keep populations pure by men so arrogant as to assume to know the mind of God".

Like you said, Mechelle.

"Religion is the opium of the People" [Karl Marx] 

Posted by whynot
1/23/2005 04:54:00 am  
"I can't even figure out what the guy next to me is thinking, much less ...".

I suffer the same problem, Mechelle. But, you have to remember that Bush rekindled this middleage thinking with his Presidential "God told me" statement.



 

Posted by Dianne
1/23/2005 07:25:00 am  
This is awful, Surrogate. I sincerely feel sorry. I also sincerely feel like go kill the asshole. Sarah, can you lend me your gun? 

Posted by whynot
1/23/2005 08:12:00 am  
ok, which one of you dont beleive in god?? cause that one person is the one going to hell in a handbag. 

Posted by APRIL!!!
1/23/2005 06:13:00 pm  
Hey April, nice to see you here :-)

"ok, which one of you dont beleive in god?? cause that one person is the one going to hell in a handbag.".

Ok, make sure the handbag's big enough so I can stretch my legs. I like my comfort. Nice soft pillow, etc. A voluptuous blonde in there would make it even better.

 

Posted by WhyNot
1/23/2005 06:23:00 pm  
Hehe sorry Dianne, non-violent resistance is the only way to go :) 

Posted by Sarah
1/23/2005 08:39:00 pm  
Hehe sorry Dianne, non-violent resistance is the only way to go.

Well, hehe I'm having a blonde moment obviously, Sarah. LOL What are you talking about?

I can go either way btw. But, I prefer my violence to be non-violent. ;)  

Posted by Dianne
1/23/2005 09:37:00 pm  
SO "philip", you are the athesist ( ah crap ya'll know i cant spell). may i ask why.
I think the Frence make the biggest and best handbags dont they? as for the blonde the volumpous (sp again so sue me), your married to her you silly man.

i am scalping tickets to the entire frontrow seating in hades. why and how you might ask.. cause i done bought up the enitre frontrow in my teen years. so would you like me to make a reservation for you and how many?? 

Posted by april
1/24/2005 01:31:00 am  
Dianne,

"I also sincerely feel like go kill the asshole. Sarah, can you lend me your gun?"

NO YOU CAN'T USE MY GUN! Even if the asshole deserves a bullet :)  

Posted by Anonymous
1/24/2005 02:03:00 am  
Oops, I meant to post that above with my name! 

Posted by Sarah
1/24/2005 02:05:00 am  
"SO "philip", you are the athesist ( ah crap ya'll know i cant spell). may i ask why.".

Of course sweetie pie. It came about when I was 12, a year after starting high-school. Till then I had always been a good lil catholic boy, mass, communion, and all that.

But I met this other boy whose parents were both Uni professors, and Marxist. So I talked with him a lot. And I learned a lot. And I decided that this whole religion thing was all bullshit. And that if there was a god, well, I yet have to see her or him or any evidence he/she/it exists. Does it make sense, LOL?

"I think the Frence make the biggest and best handbags dont they?".

LOL, I don't know April, I've never really looked into it. I haven't had the need yet seeing I'm not queer.

"as for the blonde the volumpous (sp again so sue me), your married to her you silly man.".

True sweetie, but I meant "as well as Dianne". The more the merrier, you know. Say, you're not blonde and voluptuous by any chance?

"i am scalping tickets to the entire frontrow seating in hades. why and how you might ask.. cause i done bought up the enitre frontrow in my teen years. so would you like me to make a reservation for you and how many??".

"Hades"? Wozzat? Reservations... geee, it's sweet of you but I'm a long way from you, you know!

Hey, I just tmailed you something. Just to ask you for your email addy cuz I lost it. I tmailed you to your April account - you got so many tBlog accounts, I sometimes wonder where and who you are, LOL. Anyway, I want to send you an email about something funny. Just tmail me back, or simpler still email me something - I'll get your address from it. 

Posted by WhyNot
1/24/2005 02:19:00 am  
"NO YOU CAN'T USE MY GUN!".

Booohhoooo! Oh well, prolly just as well seing I never touched one in my life. I'd likely shoot myself in the foot if not worse. 

Posted by WhyNot
1/24/2005 02:22:00 am  
I suffer the same problem, Mechelle. But, you have to remember that Bush rekindled this middleage thinking with his Presidential "God told me" statement.

Eeeek, really? I guess I missed that ... I have to admit I'm a little leery of folks that converse with God (out loud). They have medication for things like that! Bush is a religious guy -- there's no shame in that, if it works for him. However, Surrogate talk to Jesus and we love him and never hold it agaist him. Bush is a believer, no doubt, but he's also pretty staunch about freedom to worship any way you see fit "long as it don't involve killin' ... that was my impression of Bush there, you like? I've got to go find the "God told me" statement ... you've got me creeped out, he really said that?  

Posted by Mechelle
1/24/2005 02:35:00 am  
april2837743@yahoo.com

yes am blonde and big boobed... lol
wow.. so will be 3 chicks and one man.. sounds interesting..lol

now i must sleep the sleep of the unddead. graveyard shift sucks when you dont get sleep during the day

everyones killing themselves to get into heaven but (sigh) no one wants to come to hades with me.. hahahahahaha 

Posted by APRIL
1/24/2005 02:58:00 pm  
"Here are Bush's exact words, quoted by Haaretz: 'God told me to strike at al-Qaida and I struck them, and then He instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me, I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them.'"

(From article at Information Clearinghouse, after Bush visited Israel for a summit with Sharon back in June 2003.)

 

Posted by Sarah
1/24/2005 03:39:00 pm  
Thanks Sarah. So many times I have had to retrieve this statement, I am going to save it this time. LOL 

Posted by Dianne
1/24/2005 03:49:00 pm  
However, Surrogate talk to Jesus and we love him and never hold it agaist him.Surrogate isn't the President, Mechelle and I don't think he's actually talking to Jesus. LOL

I have no problem with Mr. Bush being a man of faith. I do have a problem with his using it to make war and create policy. Many Presidents before him have been religious but most of us never realized it because they didn't feel the need to advertise it. We're living in strange times indeed.  

Posted by Dianne
1/24/2005 03:59:00 pm  
"yes am blonde and big boobed... ".

Ok April, hop into that bag then and make yourself comfy.

"wow.. so will be 3 chicks and one man.. sounds interesting..lol".

3 chicks??? Who's the third one? Not Mad Cao I hope!
 

Posted by WhyNot
1/24/2005 06:08:00 pm  
Might as well make it a suitcase since the agnostics need room too. I believe in a higher power, even if that power is within ourselves to do good. But then again who knows Gad may not believe I am real either. 

Posted by catonine
1/25/2005 01:37:00 am  
"Might as well make it a suitcase since the agnostics need room too".

Goodness, 4 chicks now. I'm gonna need some help, guys. A suitcase, you say? More like a crate, I'd think, LOL.

 

Posted by WhyNot
1/25/2005 03:31:00 am  
Yeah wait a minute here... the ratio of chicks to guys is getting a tad thin. I vote for more men in that Suitcase To Hell. 

Posted by Sarah
1/25/2005 03:42:00 am  
Out bad girls! Out of my husbands suitcase. ;) 

Posted by Dianne
1/25/2005 09:45:00 am  
ummm, okay.. i shall start a suitcase with surogate then..rofl but we shall have it next to your dianne..rofl. that way the trip is cheaper..lol 

Posted by APRIL
1/25/2005 02:13:00 pm  

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